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“It’s hard for it not to consume your life,” she told Metroland, adding a perceived lack of remorse makes it even more challenging.

It was Jan. 21, 2022 at 3 p.m. when Ryan picked up Pestill outside downtown Oshawa’s La Quinta in his taxi, according to court documents.

Pestill became “agitated” and threatened to kill Ryan, referring to him as a member of the “illuminati secret society.”

After Pestill pistol-whipped him several times, Ryan pulled over and attempted to get out.

That’s when Pestill shot and killed him, according to court documents.

The fatal incident was captured on the taxi’s video system and shown in court.

Pestill was arrested nearby with a gun, along with 75 grams of cocaine, almost 200 grams of crystal meth, a digital scale, glass pipe and $20,000 in cash.

When he was brought to a Durham police station, he stated he had not done any drugs that day and had no mental health issues — an assertion he maintained throughout trial.

Experts called to the stand would testify otherwise.

The court heard Pestill was likely suffering from schizophrenia during the shooting, with one doctor suggesting crystal meth added “gasoline to the fire.”

Pestill told doctors that he had previously seen Ryan in a Satanic world he’d been taken to.

“My life was being threatened … I guess the spiritual entities drove me to do it,” he told Dr. Mark Pearce during an interview. “They ripped me apart and these humans were chasing after me.”

Pearce said Pestill is at moderate-to-high risk for violent recidivism.

Another doctor called Pestill a person with schizophrenia and also described him as very dangerous.

Dr. Pearce testified that 80 per cent of those prescribed antipsychotic medication improve once they start taking the medication.

The court heard Pestill continued to struggle with his mental health during incarceration and is largely in the same place mentally as he was at the time of his 2022 arrest.

“I was … satisfied that at the time Pestill shot Ryan, he believed that Ryan was a member of a secret society that raped and killed children,” Justice Howard Leibovich told the court.

Pestill also believed that Ryan had been chasing him for some time and that the society was coming to Oshawa to “take over” and “enslave Oshawa,” the judge added.

“He was fully immersed in his delusion that Ryan was part of the evil secret society,” he noted. “(Pestill) was simply incapable of assessing the wrongness of his conduct.”

During sentencing, Leibovich raised concern about Pestill’s ability to illegally obtain a gun, something most don’t have the ability to do.

As such, he took the rare steps of labelling Pestill a high-risk offender, meaning Pestill will not be allowed to leave Ontario Shores on escorted or unescorted passes unless under specific circumstances with structured plans to address any risk to the community.

The Crown wanted Pestill imprisoned, arguing he’d been displaying worrying behaviour, including threatening the life of his stepfather and pushing him down the stairs in 2020.

Pestill was sentenced to six years and received credit of 1,788 days for the 1,192 days already served in custody since the shooting.

He’s also been ordered to submit his DNA, not communicate with Ryan’s family or go within 500 metres of where they might be.

Leibovich also made a restitution order that would see the $20,000 seized from Pestill’s backpack go to Ryan’s children’s counselling needs and post-secondary education costs. 

Pestill has spent much of his adult life as a drug dealer, having been convicted of possession of drugs for the purpose of trafficking four times since 2016, including one seizure estimated at $36,000 in 2017.

But the judge insisted that while Pestill’s behaviour on that night was certainly troubling, it was out of character and not part of a pattern.

“The Crown submits that there is a pattern of repetitive behaviour showing Pestill has engaged in erratic behaviour after consuming drugs,” Leibovich told the court. “There is no question that illicit drugs and Pestill’s mental disorder is a toxic and deadly combination … However, the predicate offence is not part of a pattern of randomly attacking strangers.”

For her part, Cannata worries that someone like Pestill, who throughout the court proceedings asserted he doesn’t believe he suffers from mental health issues, may not be inclined to take medication for his illness.

Still, she applauded the judge for his decisions, including the high-risk offender designation, restitution and no-contact orders.